High Pressure Religious Groups

As a religious professional working on a college campus... Wait a minute. Perhaps I need to clarify -- as an ordained minister/college chaplain -- I am not a big fan of High Pressure Religious Groups. Granted, every one's personal definition of "high pressure" may be different, but I am referring to, in highly technical terms, those groups that just kind of make you feel "icky;" those groups that would have you believe that they have it all figured out; those groups that so clearly have an agenda, they don't even take the trouble to hide it -- except when they do, and then they become down right dangerous.



Why the vitriol, so early in the post? Well, I just lost an hour and forty minutes that I will never get back to one such group. I had invited representatives from local churches to be a part of a student involvement fair on campus. It seemed as though this was the first time they had ever been invited, so there was some degree of excitement from the churches that chose to attend. One of the women invited me to come to an "event" with her -- a group of ladies she gets together with once a month was having a jewelry show and they needed models for each month. Would I like to come, and would I be willing to be a model. Thinking that this would be a good way to make a community connection, I enthusiastically said I'd love to. (There really should have been some kind of ominous music playing at this point. ) All she said was the group was called "After Five." Sounded innocuous enough. I thought it was an afterwork/girls night out type of thing. Shouldn't I know better?



Turns out, it was part of a network of evangelical women interested in leadership and fellowship and evangelism. I feel like I shouldn't say which one, because that just might constitute libel, or would it be slander? I can never remember which is which. There were a dozen or so youngish women there for the first time -- most of us new to the area. It just felt creepy to me. At the table where I was sitting -- no less than three homophobic remarks, and that was before dinner was even served. It's enough to make you lose your appetite, really. And that was probably a good thing, because they decided to do the fashion show as they were serving dinner. So, by the time we were done, our meal was cold. Another topic of conversation over dinner -- what different types of jewels are going to be in heaven. I missed this in Divinity School, some how or other, but apparently that very thing is listed somewhere in the bowels of Revelation. Were my webcam enabled, you would see me shaking my head at this point. I felt as though I had passed the point of no return very early on... but a definite line was crossed by the end of the evening. The speaker asked us to join her in prayer. And I'll be doggoned if she didn't pray what so many refer to as "the prayer" -- you know, the one by which you accept Jesus into your heart and formally state your desire for a personal relationship. Okay -- in my mind there are so many things wrong with that, I don't even know where to start. It isn't my intention to offend anyone (but, if you are reading this, chances are you don't offend easily) but... seriously?

I walked away from this evening angry and frustrated, but for many different reasons. One of those reasons -- I wish that the brand of Christianity to which I subscribe was as successful at making our case. I realize as I type those words that I don't even have a sense of what that would look like, or how that would work. And that disheartens me. Perhaps that is yet another thing for me to add to my list of things to do. And while I'm at it, I might just give some thought to a "to don't" list!