Traffic patterns

Driving in Delaware is an interesting proposition, shall we say. I am told this is an East Coast thing, but... U-turns are all the rage. Legal u-turns, at that. Often, it is the only way to get where you are going from wherever you happen to be. It is frustrating when I miscalculate the direction I need to be going and find myself on the other side of the divider, driving past my destination. It is also frustrating when I think I have gone too far, and turn around, only to discover I haven't gone far enough. I am quite certain that is one heckuva metaphor for life -- but I'm a little too sleepy to do all that much with it.

The connection I will draw... I came here full of excitement and enthusiasm (don't worry -- both are still fully intact) at the prospect of being able to do that which I feel called to do. I was so taken by the fact that the student body is racially diverse, that there was a true commitment to serving an underserved population. I continue to be taken, but I guess I am no longer taken in, so to speak. This is not easy work. Didn't expect it to be. Wouldn't really want it to be, but...

I am very big on meeting people where they are, and ostensibly helping them to get to where they would like to be. Some days, though, I feel like where the people are is somewhere I don't know that I've ever been. Or, I am startled by the "stuff" that gets in the way for folks. Perhaps startled isn't the right word... Perhaps caught off guard? Financial concerns are paramount. Huge. And, the idea of what college is supposed to look like seems to run right over reality.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, all you can do is sigh. Hopefully a weary sigh, more so than one of resignation. My grandma used to talk about being weary, and I never really understood what she meant. I understand now. I suppose I have for some time, but... It is a feeling of being bone tired, physically as well as mentally. And, try as you might, you know that you've not done enough to justify the weariness, but then, you also know that you've done all that you could -- for one day, at least.

And on that note...